Sexyback
by refracted
Summary: In which Sasuke believes that he's Justin Timberlake.


Edited my fail attempt at humour.

P.S. This is from Sakura's perspective.

* * *

**Sexy**_back_

* * *

Dude.

The most fricken, AWESOMENEST thing just happened to me today. _Yeah, real specific._Shut _up! _I'm sorry I'm not uberly perfect. Anyways, as I was saying, the most _AWE-SOME-NEST _thing happened to me today. I had to tell it to someone. Yeah, I'm like an Ino, but about _ten thousand_times over. What I'm about to tell you is wayyyy more _juicy _then any of her crap-ass news.

(Ino is my bitch.)

Okay then, if all of you are ready for my _fan_TASTIC story, then I shall start…

Dear Uchiha Sasuke came back a few days ago.

It's been _five _years. Fricken five years. Ugh, I could _sooooo _punch something now! And unfortunately for our little Sasucakes, that had to be him. *cough cough* Okay. I _wish _it had to be him. When I attempted… it went something a little like this:

"_Dieeeeee, Sasuke-kun!"_

"_Hn…"_

Lunging.

_Lunging._

Sidestep.

"_Grrrrr."_

Yeah. If you didn't get that one…

He

Just

Simply

Sidestepped

It.

Because he's just so uberly neat and _I'm-better-than-everyone-else. _Yeah. Anyway, enough with my rambling.

After I _epicly _failed, I didn't look at him again. Even when I was healing his wounds from Itachi.

Sasucakes was the same as ever.

Emotionless, _sexy, _annoying, _sexy, _with a stick stuck up his (_sexy_) ass.

He got eagerly accepted by Narutard the first second he saw Sasuke, but _I _wasn't going to forgive him that fast.

Narutard was just too happy to see him.

He didn't even _think _of what he was forgiving.

Yeah.

What.

I don't care about Sasuke anymore.

…I _think._

Okay, okay.

I'm so gay.

I _know._

"_UGLY! THAT IS OFFENDING OUR PRIDEFUL GAYS LIKE ME!"_

"_Go die in a hole, Sai."_

"_Not until you take that back."_

Anyway… _again._

I was walking from my hospital shift, and it was the late afternoon.

I usually kept myself alert in case of any _perverts _came over.

It normally happened.

(AND IT'S HELLA _ANNOYING_.)

As I _was _keeping myself alert,

I heard this voice.

…

…

…

Oh.

_Oh._

I KNEW THAT VOICE!

Like.

_Totally._

That is the _one and only _Sasucakes!

But.

Waitttttt.

He's…

…Singing.

SINGING?

Oh shat.

Oh shat _boy._

I turned from looking at the interesting ground to where Sasuke's voice was coming from.

And I gasped.

Oh

My

GOD.

Did you hear _me?_

Let's say it again.

OH.

MY.

**GOD.**

Nope, still not enough.

_Ohmygod_

_Ohmygod_

_Ohmygod_

_Ohmygod_

_Ohmygod_

_Ohmygod_

_Ohmygod_

_Ohmygod_

_Ohmygod_

_Ohmygod_

Want to find out what I _just _unbelievably, NOT-IN-A-FRIGGIN-LIFETIME _saw?_

It was Sasuke.

Not just Sasuke.

But Sasuke.

_Singing._

(Think that's enough?

…Nope.)

Singing

And

_Strutting_

To

**Sexyback.**

He.

Was.

_Smiling,_

Like he was actually **e n j o y i n g **the song.

ENJOYING PEOPLE. ENJOYING.

"_I'm bringing sexy back _

I

_Them other fuckers don't know how to act_

Could

_Come let me make up for the things you lack_

**Die**

_'Cause you're burning up I gotta get it fast."_

Happily.

Right _now._

BAHAHAHAHAHA! (insert retarded laugh here)

Oh god, the apocalypse of hawtness has came.

And so has the apocalypse of darkness…

I'm getting a bit tired…?

A

_Few?_

Minutes

Later

"Sakura."

NUUUU! MEDON'TWANTTOWAKEUPYET!

"_Sakura."_

Fine.

You win.

My eyes opened from the _brilliant _dream.

But the thing was, it _wasn't _a dream.

It was proved by the earphones our dear Sasuke-kun was still wearing.

I gaped at him like he had two _ears._

Uh.

I mean, two _heads._

His perfect eyebrow raised.

"You fainted, Sakura."

_Oh._

But I kept continuing to gape at him, and his eyebrow lowered slowly.

Something made me think that he _knew_what I was shocked at.

"You…"

"Hn."

"Were…"

"Hn."

"Singing…"

"Hn."

"_And _strutting…"

"Tch."

"TO SEXYBACK BY FRIGGIN' JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE!"

"…Hn."

"DON'T YOU GET IT, YOU, YOU, _ARROGANT _BASTARD! THAT IS _SOOOOOO _UNLIKE YOU, LIKE… LIKE! JUSTIN _TIMBERLAKE? SEXY_BACK. WTFOMFGBBQ!"

Hence comes back the eyebrow raising.

"I don't care, Sakura. I like a song. Got a problem?"

"OF COURSE I DO, SASUKE! THIS JUST _PROVES _THAT YOU ARE DIFFERENT INSIDE! Hmmm, actually, possibly _homosexual._"

…

…

…

"I'll pretend I _didn't _hear that."

"Aw. Does this mean that you _are _gay? OMG!"

Sigh.

"Honestly, Sakura. A _gay _guy wouldn't even listen to this song. It's about a fucking guy having _orgasms _while watching a girl's ass. He must have hormones. How _annoying _and dense could you be? Tch."

_Ignoring that comment._

As well.

"YOU HAVE HORMONES, SASUKE-KUN? BAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Gah.

I should _seriously _get rid of that ridiculous and uberly retarded laughter.

"Hn. What_ever, _Sakura. I don't even know why we're arguing, you know you _liked _it."

"Liked what?"

Roll of eyes.

"Me strutting to that… _song._"

Smirk.

"WHAAAAAAAA? HELL NO! IN YOUR _DREAMS_! JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE, IS LIKE, WAYYYYYY SEXIER AND HAWTER THAN YOU! DON'T YOU KNOW THAT, EMO GAY?"

"Hn… But, what if… it _is _my dreams?"

BAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Wait.

WAIT.

WAITWAITWAITWAIT.

_Slow down, turbo._

**Whatthefuck.**

WHAT.

THE.

_FUCK?_

Is

Analysing

Sentence

"Did… you… just…"

"Hn."

"GOD DAMMIT WITH THE _HNS, _UCHIHA!"

"You, you… y-you _just _admitted you had friggin' _wet_dreams about me, SASUKE! Like, what the fuck?"

"Mm. You turn me _on, _Sakura."

"WHAT THE FUCK?"

Smirk.

"Do I turn you _on, _Sa-ku-ra?"

Oh **no.**

His voice was husky.

TROUBLETROUBLETROUBLE.

RAPERAPE_RAPE!_

"U-uh… I think I'll be going now, Sasuke-kun! Goodnight, bye byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeKYAWTF?"

"Hn. You're not going anywhere."

I

Was

Being

Pushed

Back

To

The

FRIGGIN WALL!

This was trouble.

Sasuke's smirk became bigger, and his onyx eyes smouldered into my emerald ones.

I wasn't able to fight back the blush.

As soon as I was backed up to the wall, his hard body pushed into mine.

"Sa-ku-ra… I could do _so _many things right now with you. Weak and out of control…"

His nose skimmed my neck.

OH NO HE DIDN'T JUST—

-insert groovily waving finger in front of face here-

Eep.

That bite _hurt._

"S-Sasuke-kun!"

"So, _so_many things…"

I smirked as well.

Sorry to break your bubble wrong-minded _betch, _but so can I.

We'll play _hard, _baby.

I leaned forward, making out as If I wanted to kiss him.

Oh _hell _noz.

I saw the approval in his eyes, but that was slightly spoiled.

SMACK SMASH!

Let's just say I rearranged his _sexy _face just a **L I T T L E **bit.

"Oh, and by the way, Sasukuns?"

_Growl._

"I'm _so_going to tell EVERYONE about what just happened!"

"Sakura… you wouldn't _dare._"

_Grunt._

"Oh, Sasukuns… I _would."_

Walks away slowly.

Turn.

"By the way… I _did _think it was sexy."

…

…

…

_WHY ISN'T HE GIVING ANY RESPONSE?_

Grrr.

Wait, I hear something…

"Sa-ku-ra… keep _moving._"

That's _not _what I wanted.

"…What did you just say?"

"Hn. I'm watchin' your _sexy back._"

Looks like he's looking for a little more _face rearranging._

* * *

Man, what was I on when I wrote this? :x


End file.
